To marry or not to marry? To have kids or not to have kids? Those are the important questions every 20 something woman asks herself and is asked by everyone around her. The consensus from society seems to state the correct answers are yes and yes. But are a husband and children really necessary to have a full and happy life? 

The older I have gotten the more I have seen the debate surrounding these issues move from a discussion on a random television show to a thoughtful often worrisome conversation among friends and social media. As I move toward making my own decisions there are three things I've learned to keep in mind: 

1. You are not who you date

As women it is important to create your own identity. Decide what your empire will look like and work for it. If/When you decide to enter a relationship it is important to ensure you are entering a partnership. Building an empire with someone who fully supports your goals while working toward their own goals. Keeping in mind the importance of equal and fair partnerships. 

2. You are enough

No matter what happens you are always enough. Life will continue to throw curve balls, and your job is to pick yourself up, learn the lesson and keep pushing forward. This lesson applies to jobs, friendships, and love interests. While you keep your eyes on building your empire don't let anyone tell you that you are less than exceptional. With that being said, be confident in your choices. If you decide to date or marry someone be secure in your choice. If you decide you’re not interested in marriage or children, be confident in your choice. If you change your mind, that's fine. You are not defined solely by your relationships. Choosing to live a life without a husband and/or children will not make you or your life less than. You are enough. 

3. Make a decision that works for you

Life presents a lot of choices daily. When thinking through such a significant decision, such as marriage or children, it is important to take your time. Reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and the reasons for your feelings is a process that does not happen overnight. If you’re unsure take the time you need to ensure you make the best decision for you. And of course, trust your instinct.